May We all Rest in Peace (occasionally)

Hi friends,

Apologies if the title for this episode seems intimidating, I assure you that none of my family members or close friends has passed away. What I mean is, take a rest, in peace.

The trigger: a conversation I had last Sat

Last weekend, I was hanging out with one of my close friends, who works in investment banking. As you might know, in industries like investment banking or consulting, a 9-5 working schedule is rare. You're expected to be available during late nights on weekdays, maybe working till 1-2 or even 3-4 am on a presentation to handle a client’s request, even on weekends. (In fact, I am currently preparing for a client presentation that's happening on Monday over this weekend - and shout out to my friends and colleagues here who replied to my questions on a random Saturday morning.)

One of the topics we discussed was whether we could spare a day doing literally NOTHING, perhaps spending the time entirely on something that’s unproductive - playing PUBG, binge-watching a Netflix series, or Anime for the entire day. I feel like I'm actually losing the ability to do so because once I start engaging in such activities for a few hours, my internal drive awakens and starts to guilt me - hey, you should be doing something more productive, why would you waste your time on these “unproductive” tasks, go read a book! Hit the gym! Or learn something that’s going to be useful to your career!

Don’t get me wrong, I'm not saying that I hate reading or hitting the gym, I actually love being productive - but to some extent, this realization prompts me to reflect on whether we always need to be super productive or effective. And more importantly, should we feel guilty after being “unproductive”, thereby losing our peace of mind?

Why would we feel guilty around being “unproductive” ?

This feeling is referred to as productivity guilt. 😲

Productivity guilt often stems from the unrealistic expectations we impose on ourselves or those set by others. 📚 Our culture glorifies the hustle, equating happiness with success and achievement. It's easy to feel like we're falling short. 📉

For many of us, work is a significant part of our lives, particularly those whose jobs are considered "greedy work" by nature - jobs that require investing ample time to polish skills, knowledge, and network through long working hours in order to receive sufficient financial rewards. Prime examples are professionals in finance, management consulting, and legal fields. 👔💼

Many of us are part of a culture, especially within Asian societies, that idealizes and promotes hard work. In fact, the concept of the American dream is predicated on how hard one can work. 🇺🇸💪

This notion may have been reinforced from early childhood. Like most children in Hong Kong, we are trained to keep ourselves busy with tutorial classes or extracurricular activities from a young age. 🏫🎒 Consequently, taking the time to relax may feel strangely stagnant or uncomfortable. 😓

But being “unproductive” could actually be more “productive”

So, here's the thing. 🤔 We often find ourselves trapped in a state of guilt for not being "productive" enough. But let's take a moment to think about it differently. 🔄

Let's reevaluate our perception of boredom. Often seen as a negative state, boredom can indeed be a catalyst for creativity! Yes, you heard it right. A fascinating study conducted by Mann and Cadman in 2014 revealed that participants who were intentionally subjected to boredom turned out to be more creative than their counterparts who were not. 🚀🎨

And do you know who else found value? Albert Einstein, one of the greatest minds in history! He had a job at a patent office, which many would consider "boring". 😮 But this job gave him plenty of mental leisure, providing the perfect backdrop for his deep contemplations on the mysteries of physics. 🧠💡 Boring? More like enlightening!

Beside Einstein, Steve Jobs actually spent some time in India studying Buddhism and Zen philosophy back in his early days? 🧘‍♂️🍎 It was an experience he later said was key to shaping his design aesthetics and business approach. His minimalist design philosophy, inspired by Zen, was a huge part of why Apple products are so successful! 📱💡 This just goes to show that what might seem like "unproductive" activities can actually lead to some pretty amazing ideas and breakthroughs! 🚀😊

One of my favourite Chinese writers, 梁文道, beautifully encapsulated this idea in a quote: 「讀一些無用的書，做一些無用的事，花一些無用的時間，都是為了在一切已知之外，保留一個超越自己的機會，人生中一些很了不起的變化，就是來自這種時刻。」 📖✨

Can you see the truth revealed here? The strict definitions of "productive" and "unproductive" can quite be blurred, the time we spent of things that we think are “unproductive” and “irrelevant” could potentially be inspiration for great ideas.

I’m still uncomfortable with the idea of resting, what should I do?

Honestly, after all this writing, I'm still unsure about the idea of being "unproductive" during my time off. It's not that I'm constantly working on tasks directly related to my job. Instead, there's a strong urge within me to always be doing something that enhances my personal growth every day. This could be reading, hitting the gym, or even the introspective act of writing this newsletter to you all. 📖💪✍️

So, picking up where I left off with my friend, they actually don't see this need to always be on the go as a problem. In fact, it's been a major factor in their academic and career success. They even said that they get really uncomfortable when they don't have anything on their plate. To be honest, I feel the same way. Knowing many of you personally, I suspect it might not be uncommon for you to resonate with this notion.

So, the final point I want to discuss in this letter centers on self-acceptance. If we're wired in such a way that we need to force ourselves to stop and not work on things, then this doesn't really sound like "resting". If the mental energy needed to "rest" by engaging in activities others consider leisurely isn't enjoyable for you for whatever reason, then perhaps maintaining your usual "productive" routine could be a better form of rest for you. 😌

At the end of this episode, I would love to conclude with one of my favorite songs, known for its beautifully written lyrics. Regardless of whether you agree with the concept of resting or not, and irrespective of your preferred way of resting, may we all find peace in rest, at least occasionally. 😌

我已經虛度了世界，它經過我
疲倦，又像從未被愛過
但是明天我還要這樣，虛度，我還要這樣
滿目的花草，生活應該像它們一樣美好
一樣無意義，像被虛度的電影
比如靠在欄杆上，低頭看水的鏡子
直到所有被虛度的事物
在我們身後，長出薄薄的翅膀

Best,

Sherman